The Elation of Defeat

Or why I wrote a book on leadership.

The first time I met Dr. Daniel M. Zimet, he told me the story of his best-ever handball match.

By the time the 1997 3-wall Nationals came around, he’d already lost eight times to Kendall Lewis, a ranked professional handballer. “If you were to see us side-by-side, the results wouldn’t surprise you. Kendall was built like an NFL tight end. I’m scrawny and scrappy,” Zimet said.

This fateful match started at five on Saturday afternoon. The first game went the same way as many others between the two players. Zimet ground out bread-and-butter points while Kendall made spectacular shots. But unexpectedly, Zimet eked out a 21-20 victory after an hour of play. Lewis found his rhythm in the second game and prevailed 21-7, sending the match into a tiebreaker.

As it started to get dark, the venue's lights came on as the players passed the second hour of grueling play. The crowd swelled. The fans became so boisterous that the event director stopped matches in the adjacent courts. Those fans added to the ones already watching this incredible match. Beer was flying in the stands. Kendall served for the fourth time to win the match point. Trying something new, he hit an overhand serve. Zimet’s return was weak and short, a perfect opportunity for Lewis to hit a low kill shot.

More than twenty years later, as we sat in his office, Zimet recalled what happened next like it was yesterday:

I reached deep into my depleted well of strength and sprinted as fast as I could to the front of the court, where Kendall’s match-ending shot seemed to fall in slow motion. At full sprint and stretch, I caught up to the ball an inch from the ground and hit the perfect shot—a flat kill. I rolled over on the concrete to break my speed. On my knees, I squeezed both hands into fists and screamed at the top of my lungs. The crowd's roar was so overpowering that I couldn’t hear my voice.

His voice trembled as he retold this story. I could swear his eyes grew watery. But what happened next is a bit strange. He told me the rest of the story nonchalantly.

He was down 9–10 and failed to score on his next serve. Then, Kendall served an ace.

“Wait, you lost?” I asked. “How was that your ‘best moment’? What about all your wins?”

I couldn’t understand how a world-class athlete could be elated by defeat.

But Zimet then explained his rationale: “Measurable goals can impede self-motivation. Those who focus on mastery—rather than on the scoreboard—are the biggest winners in the long run. That time, I played to the absolute best of my abilities.”

This match changed Zimet. From then on, he knew he belonged amongst the best in the game.

“Every victory stands on that match’s shoulders,” he told me. “That match, that point, and that loss solidified my quality as a player, a competitor, and a person, making it the most important moment of my career as an athlete.”

Of course, he loves to win, but Zimet defines success in terms only a sports psychologist could, focusing on mastery over ego, the importance of relationships and community (“The crowd's roar was so overpowering that I couldn’t hear my voice”), the meaning of sport as a meritocracy, and the importance of engagement and flow. To him, all these concepts came together that day on the court. In this book you will learn how they come together in timeless leadership principles.

His theory became an epiphany for me. I asked myself: What if leaders could develop a similar mindset and apply it to their organizations?

Zimet’s story was the spark that started the project that became The Psychology of Leadership. It put me on a path of discovery. I spent four years investigating new ways to apply psychology to leadership. I plowed through hundreds of books and articles in scientific psychology. What I learned has been life-changing and worth sharing with the world.

I hope you enjoy reading about it.

Seb

---

---

---

When he decided to write a book on leadership and self-improvement, Sébastien Page was rejected by over 200 literary agents.

He was asked, “Why would a finance expert write about leadership?” He was told to stay in his lane.

Sébastien has more than two decades of leadership experience. As an author, he believes breakthroughs often happen when experts venture outside their field. That is why, in "The Psychology of Leadership," he went beyond finance and economics to study research in psychology.

He is currently Head of Global Multi-Asset and Chief Investment Officer at T. Rowe Price. He oversees a team of investment professionals actively managing over $500 billion in assets under management.

Sébastien won research paper awards from The Journal of Portfolio Management in 2003, 2010, 2011, and 2022 and the Financial Analysts Journal in 2010 and 2014. In addition to The Psychology of Leadership, he is the author of Beyond Diversification: What Every Investor Needs to Know About Asset Allocation (McGraw Hill, 2020) and the coauthor of Factor Investing and Asset Allocation (CFA Institute Research Foundation, 2016).

Sébastien is also a member of the editorial boards of the Journal of Portfolio Management and the Financial Analysts Journal, and the Board of Directors of the Institute for Quantitative Research in Finance (Q Group). He regularly appears in the media, including Bloomberg TV and CNBC, and was recently named amongst the 15 Top Voices in Finance by LinkedIn.

---